Will you sell your soul for USD 500?
In 2016, I got my first job after graduating with a decent salary of USD 500 a month.
At that time, in Vietnam, it was considered a high-paying job for a fresh graduate. But I decided to quit just after 6 months to join a creative agency with just an intern salary of 60 USD per month.
My mum was not happy because she had already bragged to every single person on earth about her daughter’s salary with pride. Who in their right mind would waste this chance? And worse, to pursue an intern position?
My first job was to copy the drawings from top-selling t-shirts in the US market, be it a famous quote from Forrest Gump or Marilyn Monroe in her iconic white dress. And my company would sell them on online US stores.
Now, it did sound and feel unethical, but it was an extremely famous business model in Vietnam back then.
Me in 2016
Share the 4-wall cubicle with another designer
My job was considered the easiest job, with high pay, along with a bonus if sales increased.
I didn’t have to use my brain or contribute any ideas.I did feel a sense of pride, because at the time, no one around me had been offered this much of a salary. I could afford to buy stuff for my family, shopping for clothes and makeup (oh, to be a young adult living in a simple world!).
While I should feel grateful, I just felt icky. I got stuck for such a long time.
Every day, going to work, blocking myself in a cubicle with another designer, drawing meaningless lines, drained me.
All these uncreative, unethical, and repetitive works made me feel like a soulless robot.
It’s not how I pictured my life when I was a kid.
At the same time, I didn’t have any idea of how to get out of this.
One day I saw my favourite design agency was hiring. With my humble portfolio, I applied with a sense of hope. They got back to me and offered an intern designer position with a salary of merely 60 USD.
60 USD?! It was not as much as my current job bonus.
How was I going to survive with that salary living in Hanoi? But it was the only thing that made me feel excited and hopeful.
I couldn’t forget the day I walked into their office for the interview. The open space, glass doors, the colorful bean bags. The big, happy smiles on people’s faces when they worked there.
Deep inside, I felt insecure about the pay, reluctant to say goodbye to my current salary.
I didn’t know what to do until one day, my fellow colleague got compliments and an extra bonus because she managed to copy the exact designs faster than me.
It got me thinking, how ridiculous this job was, that you got an extra bonus not because of how smart or creative you were, but because of how fast you could produce a copy piece.
Sounds more like a Chinese factory than a human being.
Without further thinking, I handed in my resignation letter the next day and decided to accept the job offer.
I knew this was where I could grow, where I could become the person my inner child longed to become.
To be a lifelong learner and make use of my creativity.
Life started to become more colourful and promising. I was going to work every day with joy and eagerness.
I learned so much from my fellow designers and my team leader. There were challenging days:
So many sleepless nights to catch the deadlines.
So much self-doubt working with many talented people.
So scared if I f*cked something up.
YES, THEY HAVE THE DEADLINE FIGURINE IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE
You can see my colleague behind drifting off
Looking at the bigger picture, how far could a high-paying job take me when it doesn’t have space for me to grow?
My first job paid 500 USD, but if I had stayed, 1 year and even 5 more years, my experience would not have increased, and I bet my salary would not have changed much.
But my intern position gave me opportunities to grow so much, chances to work with different clients, on different types of projects. Which later gave me more confidence and experience to land thousand-dollar freelance gigs.
And much later, jobs offered in Singapore.
Throughout this journey, I learned to follow my intuition. To stop myself, when I feel like I am not actually living, but existing.
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This post is dedicated to everyone who are struggling to make the right decisions.
Here is the bad and good news: there is no right decision, there are just lessons in life.
Looking back, I was so happy the intern position changed my life, and later I got job offers in Singapore. I thought THAT WOULD BE IT.
But after 3 years working for capitalism, my health deteriorated, my mind was not at peace. I decided to quit Singapore entirely.
Yet, I did not regret any decisions I had made.
Even my first job with meaningless hours of drawing lines, it helped upgrade my design techniques.
Even my most fancy job that cost me my health, I learned how to work better in a team, to manage projects, and made great friends.
Even my shittiest job that made me cry every night going home and every morning going to work, I learned to stand up for myself.
Decisions, which turned out to be life lessons, which gave you chances to choose who you want to be, or not wanting to be.
